1. Your tooth hurts
2. You could swear you have a fever, but when you take your temperature, it mysteriously disappears
3. You broke a nail
4. You have "chronic back pain" and just "need a shot"
5. You have just gotten arrested and want to delay the inevitable trip to the slammer
6. You "haven't slept in weeks"
7. You want a refill on your meds and you are too lazy to get an appointment with your doctor
8. Your ttoes has been hurting since 1972
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