How could I not want what they have?

As I watch the people around me, I often ask myself...how could I not want what they have. Its not money, its not posessions, its not the "dream job", the "dream car", the "dream home", or even the worldwide vacations. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have all of those things too, but the one thing that these people all have in common is love. Not parental, sibling, or friends, although those are important too. They have a true partner.

Couple #1 Inie and Papa
While they married later in life, they had a beautiful relationship. They loved each other with everything they had. Unfortunately, they were only blessed with 25 years together (as a married couple - though they had known each other MUCH longer than that). I will never forget on a family vacation, when it was just me, Inie, and Papa; I asked Papa how he and Inie met or something of that nature. Keep in mind that Papa doesn't talk much, but he said that she was the "prettiest girl in town" and that he was lucky to have her. His explanation went much longer, but I am just giving the Reader's Digest version.

Couple #2 Peggy and Fred aka Mom and Dad
Mom was only 23 when they married and often says that she was damn lucky that he turned out to be a good man (which he is). They met in college on a blind date. They dated for a while. Dad tends to drag his feet when it comes to the emotional stuff, but he eventually gave in and proposed. But in true Fred fashion, he proposed by throwing her engagement ring in a box of bricks and told her if she found it that he would marry her. They have now been married going on 33 years. Its not been easy, what with his travel for work, and 3 rather unruly kids (except for me - I was an angel...ha ha). Its actually kinda disgusting being their kid because they seem to like each other more each day. GROSS!! They are each others best friends, and while they may not always agree, they stick together and genuinely love and respect each other.

Couple #3 Lynne and Charlie aka Aunt Bo and Uncle Charlie
They were married shortly after my parents were. Have 3 kids just as unruly as us. And yet still they persevere. The funniest thing about Bo and Charlie is that they met in a bar. Bo is not and never has been a "bar hopping" kind of girl. But in true Dodie (her sister) fashion, she drags her sister out to a bar where she surprisingly meets her future husband. Go figure. They have a good life together, and really seem to enjoy and love one another.

Couple #4 Debbie and Bill aka Dodie and Uncle Bill
While they were only married a few years ago, the future is bright for these two. Dodie has always been a bit of a free spirit, and then she went and fell in love with a lawyer. Ha ha. They are a good match though, and thoroughly enjoy and love each other even though it has been challenging because of the well established lives they brought to the marriage. It is good to see my Aunt so happy and loved. She waited a long time for the right one, and now he is here and she gets to relish in the happiness of it all.

Couple #5 Cara and Cory
Talk about bad breakup turning into wedded bliss. They were college sweethearts. Cory was a lil younger than Cara, and not on the same track for marriage. But a lil break and he saw the light of day. They have been married a few years now and I couldn't be happier for them. Cory is a wonderful addition to the family, and he truly loves Cara. Again, no perfection here, but that is the beauty of a good relationship. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to love one another and be able to work through the hard times. They have a beautiful lil girl named Charley, and if she isn't the picture perfect product of their relationship, I don't know what it. Cory is a good husband and father, and Cara is a loving wife and mother. Its interesting to see your family grown into these kind of roles.

Couple # 6 Cassie and Justin
Ahhhh....the 9 year relationship finally was official!!! Ha ha. Cassie and Justin were high school sweethearts. They made it through the crazy high school years, living in different cities and even states in college, only to come out on the other end just as perfect for each other if not more so. They compliment each other well. The have only been married just shy of a year, but they have a strong friendship which will inevitably lead them to a strong relationship.

Couple # 7 Mimi and Papaw aka my surrogate grandparents
Over 50 years together. Amazing in its own right. They take care of each other. I am sure that thier marriage has not been without its battles, but to see them together 50+ years later leads me to believe that other people can make it too. They made it through hard times in the world, the country, the state, and just life in general. They are a shining example of making a marriage work.

Couple #8 Megan and Tim aka they disgust me
These are my best friends, my chosen family. They met in college, and while Meg resisted love, Tim overcame! And thank God for that. I could not have chosen a better husband for Megan, or new friend for me if I tried. He is calm, understanding, and worships Meg as she deserves to be worshipped. They have 2 beautiful children, and continue to surprise me everyday how much they love each other even with all the obstacles thrown in their way. I often look at them (because they are in my age bracket ha ha) and wonder where I went wrong, and how could I have not found that kind of love yet. Not to say that they didn't have their own baggage coming to the relationship, but they were so accepting of one another's baggage. Its amazing to watch them grow as a couple, and as a family.

Couple #9 Amber and Matt
I have to admit when they first got married, I was like "this will never work". The truth is that I didn't really know Matt yet, and I hadn't been around them enough to really be able to voice an opinion. Well, 5 years later, I am amazed at how great they are together. They have a beautiful lil boy, a home, and a great life together. I am sure its not perfect, but they work it out either way. Its nice to see a couple so supportive of one another. There is no way that they could have the life that they have without being supportive of one another.

Couple #10 Tracy and Justin
Who would have known 5 years ago that this relationship would grow so much. Of course, most of it Justin has spent in either Korea or Iraq (he is in the Army). But Tracy has become wonder Mom - raising thier 2 boys mostly on her own. It seems that the longer they are together, the better they get. They enjoy each others company, dancing, music, and just goofing off. Its fun to watch them together. Tracy is an excellent Mom, and Justin is really good for her and the boys.

I hope that I will someday find this same kind of relationship. I have learned from my past relationships the following things that I hope will save me and my heart in the future.

1. Rushing love isn't establishing love
2. Moving in together before marriage doesn't necessarily lead to marriage
3. Just because someone says they love you doesn't mean they do, its in the action
4. Relationships are 100% from both sides, not 50/50
5. If they are unwilling to make small sacrifices to be with you..."then they're just not that into you"
6. Introducing them to the family will only cause more heartache when they are no longer there
7. Just because you leave them, doesn't mean it won't hurt, or that healing is any easier
8. A cheater is a cheater is a cheater
9. Addictions ruin good relationships (clarification: thiers not mine)
10. Honesty and trust go hand in hand and a relationship will not work without it
11. Money isn't everything
12. Stability isn't everything
13. Time doesn't change people. Changes their lifestyle perhaps, but not the person
14. Fighting for a relationship to work only works if both of you are fighting
15. Yelling gets you nowhere
16. Blame gets you nowhere - it takes 2, and while it may seem one person is more at fault than the other...aren't you just as at fault for not noticing?
17. Affection is important
18. Saying I love you is important, and not always having to be the one to say it first is important too...hell, saying it without saying it is important
19. If my dog doesn't like you, I probly shouldn't either (I wish I would have taken Scruff's hint when he peed on a certain someone's clothing)
20. Just because everyone else has love right now doesn't mean that I have to have it too

If I can find what the people I have spoken of have found, then I am willing to wait. Some things are worth the wait. In the meantime, I will enjoy the love that I receive from my family, my friends, and my Sebastian.